Godfrey tells it like it is 

Look out! Naughty language below! 

The SA weather was all over the place yesterday. Floods in KZN, snow in the Eastern Cape and the Free State and a postponed 5-a-side game here in Cape Town. 

I know. Tragic, ne? 

Tembisa took the gold medal though, with a tornado – much shared on social media – which… er… damaged the local mall. In fact, it was actually a bit worse than that. Let me hand you over to spokesperson Godfrey Mashakgomo to give you the full synopsis:

Best. Spokesperson. Ever. 

Not “There’s some damage that we’ll need to assess”,  not “We’ve lost some roof panels on the western side of the building, but fortunately no-one was seriously injured”. 

No. Godfrey went with: “The whole mall is fucked up.”

All of it. 

Five stars for Godfrey telling it like it is. And please, more of this blunt honesty from spokespeople in the future. 

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1 hit wonders?

Here’s a Facebook ad for an upcoming show at the musical theatre beyond the Boerewors Gordyn.

Fullscreen capture 2016-07-26 103452 AM.bmp

Let me help you out with the (not so) small print:

Get ready to party to the ultimate 1 Hit Wonders!

Sounds good.

Enjoy songs like Do You Love Me, Play That Funky Music, Kung Fu Fighting, You Spin Me Round, Take On Me, 99 Red Balloons & more

u wot m8?

Remember those songs? Of course you do. The Contours, Wild Cherry, Carl Douglas, Dead or Alive. They gave us such memories, and then they disappeared without trace. Likewise Nena and her red balloons (if you ignore her MASSIVE success in Germany) (which they clearly have).

Hast du etwas Zeit für mich?
Dann singe ich ein Lied für dich
Von neunundneunzig Luftballons
Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont.

Indeed.

But “Take On Me”? No. Just no. That wasn’t a “1 Hit Wonder’.

And I’m not even annoyed because I’m an a-ha fan. I’m annoyed because it’s plainly incorrect. How can a song which wasn’t even their biggest hit be a “1 Hit Wonder”?

Let’s compare: Carl Douglas hit the top of the charts with Kung Fu Fighting back in 1974. He was NEVER heard of EVER. AGAIN. He disappeared as fast as lightning. In fact, the way he vanished was actually a little bit frightening.

But I digress. Often.

Now, I’ve nothing against Carl. His name will live on in the Hall of Fame through cheesy discos and pub quizzes forever more. And fair play to him. But…

Let’s have a look at a-ha: Take On Me was a number 2 hit for them in October 1985.
Just two months later, they released The Sun Always Shines On TV.
It went to number 1, clearly making it a bigger hit than Take On Me.
But whether it was bigger or not is actually beside the point. It was also a hit. A second hit.
This ridiculous success immediately ruined a-ha’s “1 Hit Wonder” status, a status which had only lasted for about 60 days. The further 7 Top 10 hits which they then went on to have over the next 30-odd years also kind of cemented their reputation as clearly not being 1 Hit Wonders. For me, at least. And everyone else with any sort of rudimentary intelligence.

And yet they’ve been dumped in with Wild Cherry and The Contours.

Incorrectly.

Look, I’ve been to a show there before and it was slick, professional and fun. I’m sure that this one will be as well. But underlying the whole production is the sickening inaccuracy I have described above. If you’re going along, I suggest that you try to overlook the invalid and plainly false information on which the entire show is based.

Because any other approach would surely ruin your experience.

2 Comments | Tagged , , , | Posted in annoying people, music, that's a bit mad, this is south africa

Wevver

Much rain expected this afternoon and evening for Cape Town and along the Southern Cape coast. This is not unusual: it’s winter. In fact, it’s rather welcome, given the shortages of water we are currently suffering. It would just be nice if it wasn’t all being dumped on us at once.

weather1

And after today, we can expect a further cold front hitting Cape Town on Thursday.

This week’s dam levels were up 4.6% from last week (to 48.1%), but given the amount of rain forecast for the next few days, we can expect an even bigger increase this coming week.

Assuming there’s anything left of the country.

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How many men…

…does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, although getting to the light bulb in question might take a while.

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

That’s Kevin Schmidt climbing up the KDLT TV analog broadcast antenna near Salem, South Dakota. It’s 1,500ft (457.2m) high.

Nope.

But Kevin’s simian antics fade in comparison to Nick Wagner. Because Kevin was on the KDLT TV analog(ue) broadcast antenna. That’s now outdated technology. And outdated height. The new KDLT TV digital transmitter is 2,000ft (609.6m) in height.

You can watch a 19 minute video of Nick checking the top of the new mast here.

The new mast is the tallest structure in South Dakota. But the tallest structure in North Dakota is the 2,063ft (628.8m) KVLY mast. That’s also the tallest mast in the world and the 4th highest structure in the world. Built in 1963 the first man-made structure to exceed 2,000 feet (610 m) in height.
It held the record for the tallest structure in the world from August 1991 until being overtaken in September 2007 by the Burj Khalifa.

But you’ll remember all that from my 2010 post on the subject (includes photo).

4 Comments | Tagged , , , | Posted in learning curve, recommended site

Here we go (again) 

Here’s the latest pre-season news from Beautiful Downtown Bramall Lane:

Hey, hang on. He’s supposed to be our star player for next season.

That would be bad news for us, but brilliant for some (but probably not all) of our rivals.

See?

So much for the brave new dawn at the Lane. You don’t win leagues by selling your best players. (Apart from best player selling leagues, obviously.)

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myScoop