PistoriusBalls 15

Day 24 and an unexpected change of tack.
We’re now working from the ‘Eye For An Eye’ School of Justice Manual…


Got to suggest that this is premeditated, right?


Are you watching, students of the noble art? THIS. IS. JOURNALISM!  


Meanwhile, talking of “journalism”, new levels of desperation have been reached on News24:

Look out for their exclusive Pistorius headline tomorrow: “There Were A Few More People Here Than Yesterday, However Their Numbers Still Didn’t Really Match Up With The Larger Amount Of Observers Which We Noted Earlier In The Week, But Was Obviously Greater In Number Than Last Thursday, Which Was Notable For The Fact The The Courtroom Was Surprisingly Sparsely Attended”


You’re imagining Barry Roux winking at you?
I dunno. Is there such a thing as demob desperate?
Lest we forget, you were imagining him half naked on a tropical beach paradise just yesterday (see above).


Really, Andrew? Is this honestly your understanding of what someone would do were their opponent to bring a comb to a knife fight? “Jab at his qualifications and credibility”?
‘Cos I’d guess that they’d probably just stab him. Unpleasant? Sure. But let’s face it, it’s a knife fight and he’s turned up with a comb. What does he expect? His qualifications and credibility to be jabbed at?
I doubt that very much.
No, I think that with your remark, you may be confusing ‘a knife fight’ with ‘a qualifications and credibility jabbing session’ and they’re really not the same thing, their only common factor being that I wouldn’t bring a comb along to either occasion.


And then that was it. For a couple of weeks, at least.

WANT MOAR BALLS? PistoriusBalls Archive.

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Meanwhile in Benoni this morning…

Much reptile. So yellow. Very escaped. Wow.

I’m a regular follower of the Benoni Community Police Forum webpage. For me, there’s no better way of keeping up with the latest news on the crime front from Benoni and the surrounding area.

Technically, what follows is not a crime, per se (yet), but it did make their webpage this morning:

  • URGENT look out !!!!  Yellow Burmese python escaped from Titans reptiles at oakfileds shopping centre this snakes big enough to take out a small child please call mark 082 557 7084

Oh, Mark 082 557 7084. What have you done? How can you lose a snake big enough to eat a toddler?

While Burmese Pythons in the wild usually “only” reach an average of 3.7 metres, a superior diet (including, perhaps, small children) means that they can get much bigger in captivity:

The record maximum length for Burmese Pythons is held by a female named “Baby”, that lived at Serpent Safari, Gurnee, Illinois, for 27 years. Shortly after death, her actual length was determined to be 5.74 metres (18 feet 10 inches).

That’s a lot of snake.

Other recent examples of exotic escapees up North infamously include Panjo the tiger, Solly the hippo and the Limpopo lion, which wasn’t deemed worthy of being given a name.

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That Filling Station Cafe letter

Another photo of an “is this real?” letter, like that Bic one (which wasn’t).
This time, allegedly as a reply from a cafe owner to the Lake District National Park.


Yes, it’s pretty funny anyway, but if you deliver it in a thick Cumbrian accent (which I have no idea if Mr Graham possesses), it gets even better.

The Filling Station Cafe comes highly rated on Trip Advisor and is open today from 10-4pm.
Notably not 6pm and certainly not any later.

It can not be found in the latest Eating Out Guide, published by the Lake District National Park.

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One One Eight

Now I like beer as much as the next man, but I’m not quite as fussy as some when it comes to the trendy side of beer: “craft beer”. I love my Darling Brew Bonecrusher, but then I love my SAB Carling Black Label. I quite enjoy Steph Weiss, but I’m also more than happy with a mass-produced Windhoek.

It’s beer. I like beer.

Craft beer is a rapidly growing market though, as the video below will testify. But who exactly is drinking it – and moreover why - are they drinking it? Presumably, given that these guys are hugely knowledgeable about beer, it’s for the unique taste that mass-produced SAB beers don’t have – that special something that only the personal touch can bring.

Step forward One One Eight. It’s the new kid on the craft beer block and it’s not pulling any punches, daringly - with seemingly little thought for its reputation – heading straight into a tasting session with a group of craft beer connoisseurs.

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

Yep, that’s Top Trolling by Ogilvy for SAB and Castle. Look how silly those all men suddenly look.

Reminds me a bit of weissbeer, actually. It’s got a bit of a weissbeer taste.

says the guy who keeps complaining that his wife puts chalk in his cheddar sandwiches each day.

So yes, they now all look very foolish.
But especially the guy in the pink shirt. Especially him. Because he was the most annoying one.

Because in answer to my earlier question as to why these people drink craft beer: it’s simply to be seen “drinking craft beer”. It’s the same thing as Farmer’s Market Syndrome. In fact, the two go hand in hand, as you’ll see at any Saturday morning city market.
A harsher blogger might put something about “more money than sense” here, but I won’t.

Look, if you want to drink expensive craft beer, then by all means, go and drink it. It’s probably going to be a bit expensive, but it’s probably also going to be very nice. A new experience. Something different. That’s fine.
But if you’re merely drinking it to be seen with a craft beer in your hand, then don’t pretend you’re doing it for any other reason that that.

You’re not fooling anyone with your pseudo-educated chatter, you trendy, irritating wanker.

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PistoriusBalls 14

Day Twenty-something and we’re still trying to knock off before 3pm…

Mmm. People jam is my favourite, just ahead of Strawberry, and Fig.


Sadly not. I can still see you.


Come on, people. This is very disappointing. It’s almost as if Reeva died in vain.


No idea. Have you tried the Asian percussion section in your local music shop?


Strange decision. Is the courtroom busy or something?
Oh God… will it be televised? :(

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